Social media has become an integral part of the daily routine for a lot of individuals. Whether we use social media to keep in touch with family and friends, or to post significant life events.
One common theme that many experience while scanning their feeds is the feeling of being “stuck” or “standing still” while everyone else appears to be progressing.
The Subtle Pull of Comparison
- “Why am I not there yet?”
- “Everyone else seems to have it together…”
- “I should be doing more!”
One of the main reasons why we compare ourselves to others is because we view a limited perspective of social media for what it presents as “a highlight reel”.
For example, while an individual may post pictures from a fabulous vacation, they do not post about their everyday struggles or the fact that they may not have had a job or had experienced a financial setback prior to taking the trip.
In addition, social media doesn’t give the full scope of how most people’s lives are filled with both highs and lows.
Effects on Emotional Wellbeing
We are not mentally wired to constantly compare ourselves to others.
People often notice:
- More anxious after scrolling down for a while
- Questioning their choices and pace
- Difficulty being present
- Feeling fatigued or disconnected emotionally
- A deep sense of being behind and not knowing why
Not every person who uses social media will necessarily be negatively generated by its content. Instead, we each respond to emotional stimuli based on how much we consume of it and how frequently we consume it.
In an anti-oppressive and feminist lens, it is important to recognize that not all individuals start from the same place. Access to financial resources, time, safe environments, healthcare, and a support system are all unique to each individual. Failing to recognize the reality of these disparities can lead individuals into a deeper level of shame and self judgement when they compare their lives with one another.
Bringing Awareness Without Judgment
You don’t need to delete apps or entirely stop using social media to support your emotional wellbeing. This process starts with self-awareness.
To gain greater self-awareness, ask yourself questions like:
- What do I feel like after I scroll?
- What posts or images make me feel heavy or small?
- When do I scroll more than I want?
- What do I hope I feel when I sign into these apps?
Self-awareness gives you a choice regarding how you respond. It allows you to see your patterns without blaming yourself.
By making small shifts in your behaviour, you can begin improving your relationship with social media.
- For example, here are some small shifts:
- Take a break from scrolling during times when your emotions are vulnerable.
- Create a feed that includes more diverse and honest content.
- Identify the things outside of social media visibility that are important to you.
Rest, slowness, and private growth are not failures. They are part of being human.
How Therapy Can Help
At Talk Therapy Canada, we help increase understanding of how social media can impact your mood and expectations, as well as guide you on your life’s journey. Talk therapy can help you to decompress, allowing you to work through feelings of confusion or heaviness.
In therapy people work on:
- Understanding how their emotions respond to comparison;
- Reducing the pressure they put on themselves;
- Establishing boundaries regarding their use of technology;
- Reviewing their values; and
- Increasing self-compassion.
Therapy is not about becoming someone else; it’s about understanding what you have been carrying with you.
A Gentle Closing
If social media has led you to believe that everyone ahead of you has it “better,” social media is encouraging you to step back, to take a moment to see what is happening inside of you, and to remind yourself that growth does not have to be visible for it to still be happening.
Give yourself permission to grow at your own pace.
Call to Action
“Struggling with social media? Call us at 647-478-9569 to speak with a therapist.”
